001 Lord
by GamberDragon
Summary: FE9. 1/100. 100 Fire Emblem Themes. Ike does not like lords, nor does he like BEING a lord. BAAD humor.


**100 Themes Fire Emblem Challenge**1/100: Lord

Tormod: Fire Emblem does not belong to GamberDragon…Thank Yune.

A/N: _This story is…mediocre at best. But. I decided I wanted to do the 100 Themes challenge for Fire Emblem. So - here's the first one._

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He just knew, from the very first moment he truly became a lord, that he was going to loathe it. He was correct. Oh boy, was he correct. "You wear it well."

"I guess…Not that I care." Ike remarked icily, Sanaki just sighed at him in exasperation. The new lord left the large room of the cathedral in a hurry - feeling oddly…Itchy. The fabric was too smooth - to pristine, too perfect. He was a warrior, not a pampered noble!

Ike was willing to be that the fabric would tear at the most basic of moves - rendering him utterly useless in battle. That or, he would just have to fight nude. "Damn it! Bloody lordship!" the commander of the Greil Mercenaries(now General of the Crimean Army) cursed bitterly.

He decided that he wanted to prove the material was delicate an entirely impractical. He made his way to the quarters that the other mercenaries were staying at. In the practice yard, there was no one around, most everyone was eating a good dinner (having just gotten out of a very long battle in a barren forest, hunger-fulfilling food had been hard to come by).

Grabbing a practice sword, Ike turned to a nearby dummy, raised his wooden blade and struck…Just a simple lunge. No tear. "Huh…." the blunette shook his head, "One more movement like this and it's sure to rip. Thus proving that lords and the general nobility are morons."

Ike lunged again. And frowned as nothing happened to his shirt. "Damn!"

He struck out, this time stretching his arm impractically. "Argh!"

The blunette continued like that for a while, long enough for Boyd, Soren, Tormod, Mia, and a few other mercenaries to arrive. At the sight of their commander yelling in frustration and doing strange, choppy movements with his entire body, hacking away haphazardly at the unfortunate dummy, the mercenaries exchanged worried glances.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Tormod asked with a raised brow.

Boyd shrugged, "He's been known to break out into weird little fits like this."

Soren rolled his eyes before moving over to his leader, "Ike?" the teenager stopped mid swing, foot raised for no apparent reason, eyes wild and hair disheveled, "What are you doing?"

"!"

The Wind Sage just blinked.

Ike suddenly, and violently, tried to rip his shirt off. Nothing. The fabric was simply too strong - well made, and durable. "NO!" the man unbuttoned his tunic, leaving Soren to give him a very weird look. 'I think he might be going insane…'

Once the shirt was on the ground, Ike dropped to his knees and proceeded to try and rip the fabric with both hands. No matter how hard he tried, the fabric would not tear , "This shirt IS bad, there's NOTHING good about being a lord!"

Soren started to sweat, "Ike."

"RIP DAMN IT!"

"Ike!"

"ARGH!"

"IKE!"

Ike stopped his movements and looked up at his strategist, "What? If you didn't notice, I'm trying to prove that lords are morons!"

The sage couldn't suppress rolling his eyes this time, "Ike. Stop."

"But…!"

"Believe me when I say that you've beyond proved that Lords are moronic."

There was silence, the mercenaries who had previously been watching the scene (most in amusement, and some in concern) snapped their gazes away hastily when Ike looked around. "I'm…A lord now."

"Yes." Soren said, about to loose all semblance of patience.

"And…I'm acting moronic."

The ebon-haired man nodded, glaring at his commander.

Ike frowned thoughtfully, "I guess…I proved a point successfully then?"

Soren raised a brow, "Please don't tell me you're proud."

"Kind of, actually."

The sage slapped a hand to his forehead.

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Tormod: What the hell was that?

GamberDragon: LOL. I am so hyped up on frosting and chocolate milk right now! WHOOOOO!

Tormod: Omg, frosting? WHERE?


End file.
